Thursday, October 3, 2013


I got arrested.

No... no I didn't. I lied. Breathe again mother. It was a joke. Seriously though... I did almost get arrested last night.

Shenanigans pretty much sums up my life in college. I went to a small university where everybody knows everybody and even if you didn't know someone's name, you knew a way to describe them in a few words that would get your point across. ie: the graceful guy, the pirate, the acid dude, body guard, the 50's girl... the list goes on and on. Being an athlete (baseball player) pretty much gives you a rep from the get go... NOT the best one might I add. So the only way to battle this is to NEVER wear your gear around campus and to NEVER introduce yourself as an athlete. One minor flaw in that plan... the cafeteria. Silly click tables...

My collegiate baseball life consisted of performing at a high level on the field and in the classroom. The other part of my collegiate life was filled with dorm craziness, bars, sororities, ghost hunting (Montevallo is a very haunted place), exploring buildings after dark, and pranks. Out of all the ridiculous situations and stupid stunts I pulled in this small town, the things I didn't get arrested for... it is 4ish years after graduation where I almost get arrested for... *dun dun dun*... running. Well, technically "trespassing."

I parked my car, tucked my headlamp into my shorts, and took off down the asphalt. I didn't have the time or energy to make it to the state park today, so I settled for a quick spin around my old campus and college town. I ran the same streets I use to stumble down in the past... oh  to be 21 and invincible again. I took a left through campus. I passed by the "hands" and King House. Made my way down the rough streets where many a sorority girl have valiantly attempted to wear high heels, just to be proven that their grace and beauty are no match for unstable, late 19th century brick. No judgment, for I too have fallen victim to these godless bricks, however, my story includes chocolate milk, white basketball shorts, and a group of Phi Mu spectators. I'll let you piece that one together...

I passed by the UM soccer game before exiting campus. Finally... peace. I cruised down a county road for a bit before making my way over to the campus lake. The city has recently established a running trail that runs from the local park, through town, around the campus lake, ending at some local baseball fields. It's mostly crushed gravel with less than a mile of single track, but I'll take that over the streets any day. The sun disappeared and the headlamp came out. I received a few obscene words from the frat house as I passed by but *insert dbag voice* "like brah... like I really just... like..." I really don't care. Go drink your Natty Lite and dry hump that Freshmen 15 that's smoking her Marlboro Reds for the first time.

Anyways... like I said... peace. Goosefraba.

I finally cut back down to the park. As if my week hasn't been bad enough... low and behold!! A cop at my car. Thanks universe. I dim my headlamp and slow my pace. He drives away. I grabbed my keys and unlocked my car.

Blue lights flashed. After a tire peeling and what I must deem unnecessary, U-turn, I'm now cornered. Officer Farva is already out of his vehicle with handcuffs in hand.

Farva: "What are you doing?"

Me: "Finishing up a run."

Farva: "You know I should arrest you."

Me: "For what?!?"

Farva: "Trespassing. This park closes at dark."

Me: "I'm sorry officer." (as I turn and look 25yds away at a group of 7 in the same park...)

Farva: "They're looking for lost keys, but are leaving now."

Me: "I didn't say anything officer."

Farva: "I don't want to see you back in this park."

I chuckled and walked away.

Oh yea... I forgot to mention that I'm a trail gangsta... and damn it feels good to be a gangsta.

Till tomorrow...


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  2. I took a deep breath when I read your first line. Then I laughed out loud as I read , "breath again, Mother!" This is so typically you and your life! Love it! Keep this up :)