Friday, February 21, 2014

Pain Vaults

Pain vaults. Every single person on this planet has one. Some can hold more pain than others… but nonetheless… these majestic vaults exist. Follow me on the journey into my pain vault...

My pain vault is in an undisclosed location so don’t bother trying to locate it on your own. The vault itself is a lot like Riche Rich’s vault… MASSIVE and located on the side of a mountain… only mine doesn’t have a huge sculpted portrait of my face on the outside. It’s a long haul up to the entrance, so I don’t visit that often… usually only once a month. I do make small daily deposits though. There is a specific currency accepted by my vault, and it usually comes in forms of runs and workouts. It does accept other forms of currency… music, happiness, memories, etc... because one cannot live on runs and workouts alone. These deposits are necessary to ensure I’m ready when it’s time to cash out for some good clean fun.

To this day, it’s sometimes hard to find the entrance to my own damn vault. For it’s nothing fancy… usually covered in mud, dirt and the occasional trace of blood… but you’ll definitely know it when you get there.

Upon entering the vault you will notice the lighting. It’s usually pretty dim and gloomy through the initial hallway, but don’t you worry your pretty little head… it gets brighter as you go. It’s relatively quiet through this long, winding hallway. Your heartbeat is usually the only company you will share but if you listen carefully… you can hear a few loose demons whispering in the shadows. Pay no mind to these devils… they’re more talk than anything. It is, however, extremely important to acknowledge these pesky little entities. If you don’t at least acknowledge their presence… they’ll bite down on your heel and won’t let go until it bleeds. It’s best just to give a little smirk, stay focused and move silently past. More times than not, you can pass through without causing much of a stir.

The hallway is looooooooooooooooooooong and painful so don’t lose faith. If you stay resilient, you will eventually make it into the main chamber. Ladies and gentlemen… the room you’ve all have been waiting for. The room where all the deposits are stored! It’s time to enjoy that hard earned work… 


You bust through the door entering into a most glorious room! A room full of laughter, music, singing, and memories! By this time you’re probably hurting pretty bad. Enjoy it! Embrace the suck! 

This moment… right now… is the reason you’ve been saving up these deposits! You know you have the reserve to push forward… so go!! Enjoy your riches!!!!

Now some bad news...

There is one teeny weenie section that remains dark. A small shadow is cast in the far corner. I hate this part of my pain vault. In the shadows lies a chest bound by chains...

This chest holds a special type of pain… a bad and evil pain. INJURY. This pain is not a welcomed visitor in my vault. Most of the time, security is on top of their game and they keep this nasty trespasser out… but sometimes he sneaks in and camps out in the chest.

This evil chest has had its share of deposits. From the big stuff like dislocated shoulders, ITB issues, stress fractures… to smaller items such as lacerations, bumps, and bruises… and everything else in between. This chest has been filled from time to time… but for the most part remains empty and covered in cob webs.

By the grace of God, this chest has been basically empty for the past few years. However… a deposit has been made in the form of plantar fasciitis. It’s not a bad case… but backing off from laying down serious miles is needed. A few short years ago… back when I was young, dumb and full of stupidity… I would have tossed caution to the wind and worked through the pain. Luckily my wandering mentor, Kaepora Gaeborawas kind enough to share some of his worldly wisdom with me…

He’s told of great and wondrous adventures from his travels across the land and has given me insight to what it takes to do these epic escapades. One must be healthy to pursue great adventures…

So I rest. I wait to withdraw from that evil chest in the corner. I will still make deposits into the pain vault… for now it's less miles on my run/hikes, possibly venture into other areas of endurance… probably write more than usual...hell, may even pick up the old Gibson and write a new song.

Thank you for visiting my pain vault with me. I would love to visit yours sometime. But until then… keep making those deposits… I promise they’ll be worth it.

Cheers to the weekend!

Till tomorrow…

ps: I'm a huge Legand of Zelda nerd... My wife compares me to Link because of all my solo adventures... but if you got the Zelda references mixed into the above ramblings... consider yourself a life long friend. 



  1. Just put the bike in the shop for a real tune up. Maybe looking to get into the mtn bike game?

  2. Hope you're on the mend my friend. A reoccurring stress fracture in my ankle and bad knees - that's in my dark corner. Fun read.